Day 264 of Ania's Diary.

Ania is not having a good day. The walks have been extra short as I am still in a  lot of discomfort.
The weather is dull, dreary and cool but Ania seems exhausted and her breathing is far from good. A friend came around this morning and Ania was still full of enthusiasm and pleased to see her.
Even when I cut up the beef at lunchtime and got the chicken out for the dogs dinner Ania was not interested.
We have had one good week and now it looks as if we are going downhill again.
Fudge has been very good lately, he only comes off his lead once a day and early morning. I let him off his lead and he was gone, straight across the field and up on the road. There was no way he was coming back and I think he got the smell of a cat. He came back to me about 5 minutes later but I dare not tell him off as he will be too afraid to come back.
For the past few months I have been walking with other people in the morning and it has kept Fudge with me but the past couple of weeks I seem to be on my own and he is beginning to wander.
This is such a worry as he has been good for so long.

I do tell people not to wait for me because Ania is slow and we like to stop for her to catch her breath. I would rather that they did this than avoid us.I fully appreciate that people are in a hurry these days, at one time I was too and people do lead busy lives.

Day 262 & 263 of Ania's Diary

Yesterday I was feeling to poorly to post. I had been up all night with raging toothache and 11 days of it was taking its toll. I had phoned every dentist I could to see me as my own was still booked up even after I had rung for 2 days.
To cut a long story short I managed to get hold of the emergency dentist last night and my friend drove me 10 miles. He took one look at it and said it was overfilled and he could take it out. All this because the dentist had decided I needed it filled before it gave me any trouble and it was one of my good teeth. The relief to get the pain out the way was fantastic and the staff at the clinic were wonderful and so kind unlike the treatment I had received from ours.
In all this dear Ania had to be put aside. At lunchtime the 3 dogs went to the vets for their dental check but Ania was so excited  her breathing became bad that hers were left.

Because I could not bend down last night for the first time ever I never worked the acupressure on Ania. What a difference it made.
This morning I did not feel great so had to fool the dogs as it is Saturday and our dog walk. We went out later but Ania's breathing was terrible although she insisted on carrying on walking.
I have worked on her acupressure at lunchtime and she has slept and I will do it again this evening to try and get back on track.
My husband is taking the dogs out now and they will have a shorter walk until I feel better to revert to normal.

Day 261 of Ania's Diary

Not going to write much today. Raging toothache has settled in again and I am not able to see a dentist until Monday. 10 days of raging toothache with 2 visits to the dentist has taken its toll.
Ania is doing so well and she has started barking again. She should not be able to bark with her condition but it has come out loud and  clear today. This of course will not help her.

We have had the garden rubbish taken away and been outside today and Ania has been with us. This is brilliant news as her energy levels are now getting better. It is wonderful news and we are so thrilled about this.

Day 260 of Ania's Diary

Although we have had a little hazy sunshine and it has been warmer each time I have been out with the dogs the cloud has come over . So we have been lucky. This morning Ania had a problem to get home but she slept it off and is eating well and that is the main thing at the moment.
We have been busy sorting out the garden and Ania wandered out once but soon came back indoors to sleep. she has no desire to stay out in the garden with us these days.
On the other hand Abby and Fudge have assisted with digging up all the bushes and we have our work cut out.

We have not been to the caravan for ages and I am missing it but with this raging toothache I need to be home in case I need to go back to the dentist for the third time. I am wondering if Ania has settled better as we have been home for quite a while now although she gets so excited and loves the caravan and the lovely walks that she has. Most of our friends have left the site now and it has been very quiet and Ania loves company.

Day 259 of Ania's Diary

Well here we are, Ania with her shaved off ears. I took this photo this morning on our morning walk when she had to take a break because of her gasping. Abby has her back to us and Fudge is lying down in the distance chewing a ball.
Ania has to carry her newspaper chew when she goes out but it is a problem now as she insists on carrying it and then drops it and I have to go back.
We are having no signs of summer down here and it has been dull and dreary all day. The sun has tried to come out but not succeeded.
Ania has been quite breathless today but it has not deterred her and she has trotted quite happily around the field although we have had lots of stops and a rest in between. Also she is still eating well which is a bonus.
We have been out doing some gardening today, this raging toothache is non stop and I wish the dentist had never touched it in the first place. This has put me off going away hence why we are doing major works in the garden.

Day 258 of Ania's Diary.

The weather has been a mixture of sunshine and cloud but not too hot.
Owing to my raging toothache one week later I rang the dentist and Ania got so excited as for some reason she thought I was going to take her out. It did not matter that she had not long come on from a walk with the other half.
So when I returned from the dentist and still may I add with raging toothache I decided to drive the dogs to the woods. Ania is her own worse enemy. she barks so much in the car that by the time we got there she was too tired to walk. On top of this she managed to take her favourite toy with her and kept dropping it. It was a very slow painful walk, very cool and muddy under the trees and Ania gasped the whole way.
Usually Ania is so exhausted that I do not hear her again for the rest of the day but she has recovered eaten all her dinner and decided that she would join in with the others and bark at anyone who cares to walk by.
It wasn't until I was talking to a lady where I parked my car and she pointed out how very patient the other 2 dogs must be to wait for Ania that I realised how they are. Fudge has to stay on his lead or he would run off onto the main road and Abby is quite content to stand and wait until Ania recovers enough to  walk a bit further.

My 3 dogs go together that is for certain.

Day 257 of Ania's Diary

Nothing much to report today. Ania is very quiet and has slept for most of the day. she has eaten all her breakfast and decided she would have one of my home made dog treats . I had not made any for a few days as if she wont eat them then the other 2 will not either. They are really fussy Poodles.
Fudge has probiotic yogurt every day because of his tummy problems and it seems to be doing him good. I make it myself and Abby and Ania both used to eat it but will not touch it now.
I have raging toothache after my visit to the dentist last Monday so we will be going out very soon but the walk will not be long.
It is not like summer and we have a gale force wind blowing which is making it feel very cold although the sun has now decided to come out. We should be sitting in the garden but we would be blown away if we did.
Every day is different with Ania and I am not used to her being as quiet as this but I do not think that she is poorly and her breathing is very good and not laboured. This weather is good for her.

Day 256 of Ania's Diary

Since I bathed her Ania is so much happier and she has not stopped eating.
We were up early this morning and we only went once around the field and then she eat all her breakfast and was eager to get off to the vets. As she was so excited I had to get out early to calm her down.
The weather is on her side, it is very blustery, more like winter and passing showers which we were so lucky to miss . Ania completed the walk, forging ahead the whole way. We did stop for coffee though which gave her a chance to recharge her batteries.
As  luck my vet was on duty today so he had a chat with me after the walk and he was delighted that Ania had taken a turn for the better. He thinks we will get a lot of down days in this very difficult illness but as long as she comes up in between we may be able to go on for a while. Ania will also be able to have another acupuncture session in a couple of weeks time as long as she continues to make such good progress. I really though the end was to come a few days ago but Ania has a lot of determination as have I

The other side of the bag that I made this week. Before I could add it to my Cornishk9crafts.yolasite.com website I put it on facebook for my poodle friends to see and last night someone asked to buy it and I was able to post it off to them this morning. I am delighted as all proceeds go towards my very large vets bill.

Day 255 of Ania's Diary

Could not resist taking a photo of this perfect poppy in my garden.
I agonised whether we should bath Ania or not. We went to the field this morning where she managed to go around the field twice and met a friend who said how much better she looked than yesterday afternoon.
That clinched it, we were home and she was in the bath and fluff dried , all within an hour and all before she had time to gasp too much. I thought that was it and she would be too tired to do anything else for the rest of the day.
How wrong I was, Ania was at the door first of all and she was not too be left behind.
It was warm but the wind kept it cool although we were forecast heavy rain.
Ania is usually too exhausted to eat but this evening she eat all of her tea and left only a very little behind. I am so thrilled as I was quite in despair and thought if we went on like this she would not make another week.
The dogs always seem to be a lot happier after being bathed and clipped although they make such a fuss of being done and hate being groomed.

Day 254 of Ania's Diary

Things are not good. The weather has changed,  is raining but is quite warm although it is getting very dark here.
This morning I though it was going to clear up so I bathed Abby and Fudge and clipped them. I wanted to do Ania as well. Her breathing this morning was not good and I had to bring her home.
I have managed to clip some of her fur off and want to get her in the bath but her breathing is not good.
 She has shown very little interest in eating. At lunch time I cooked her favourite sausages and scrambled eggs to tempt her and she wolfed them down.
We went for a very short walk in the rain but Ania just stood in the field and would not move.
I am now agonising should I put her through the stress of having a bath which she badly needs . I have a feeling I wont be doing it.
The only good thing  is that Ania is sleeping well at night. I know this as I have raging toothache which is keeping me awake at night.

This is just a bag that I have finished making and will be putting it up for sale on my Cornishk9crafts.yolasite.com website.

Day 253 of Ania's Diary

Today has been hot and sunny although quite a breeze. At lunchtime I decided we would take the dogs to the fields by the sea and my husband would sit in the shade with Ania whilst I walked the dogs around the cool lake. Ania had her cool coat on but was not able to walk even a quarter of the field and it was cool with the breeze off the sea.
Later she insisted on coming to the field with me and just could not do it.
I have worked out that is she never went out then she would be a lot better. Mentally she is a puppy but bodily she is not and the two are clashing. She is the first at the door and so excited to be going out. She does get too excited if we go in the car and this tires her out.
In between times she has been fine and has managed to eat the best she has for the past couple of days. Instead of lying down she just looks at me and nothing will budge her.
The rest of the week it is supposed to be raining and a lot cooler.
I have not spoken to the vet yet but I do believe that she will not be having any more acupuncture.

Ania today in her cool coat with the beautiful Swanpool in the distance. This is a popular dog walking area and there were lots of dogs out , my other 2 seem to have disappeared.

Day 252 of Ania's Diary

Today has been better. Ania had quite a good nights sleep and the coughing and choking has stopped.
There was thick fog this morning, it did not help a lot but we coped.
This afternoon the sun did not have the humidity of yesterday so this helped Ania. The grass had been cut so there were not quite so many bees but we were careful.
Luckily Ania was feeling a lot better as we had to drive to the hospital for my husbands appointment and I do not like to go very far and leave Ania . The dogs were fine though as it was cool in the house and we were only gone for a couple of hours.
Each day is a bonus and Ania still wants to go out but she has not been able to swallow very much of her food so we will try again

later and she has it now in stages throughout the day.

Day 251 of Ania's Diary

We have just arrived back from a disastrous walk. This morning it was pouring with rain and we got drenched so missed out the lunchtime walk. It then stopped raining so off to the field I went and to my dismay the sun came out and it was very hot.
The field is full of clover and the first thing was a bee attached itself to Abby's foot. 2 ladies saw her going frantic and came and helped me whilst I removed the bee. Abby seemed to be ok so I left them and started my walk. 5 minutes later Abby started being violently sick and choking. I now had to get home quickly with the sun shining and a gasping Ania.This was not easy but we got there. Ania coughing all the way.
I have sorted Abby out and she now seems fine and worked on Ania who was far more distressed and in quite a bad way.
We could not have been out for more than 30 minutes, chose the wrong time as no sooner did we get in than the clouds came in again and it looks as if it will rain any minute.
In all of this chaos Fudge seems to be the only one today who is well although he has been drinking excessively as usual.

Day 250 of Ania's Diary

It is more like winter here today and the dogs and I have got drenched twice, there seems to be no let up with the wind or rain.
After days of very little sleep I slept for 5 solid hours and I hope Ania did too. She is not doing quite so well today and I fear that there will be no more acupuncture for her. Also she is miserable and when I cut up the chicken at lunchtime, which she can smell a mile off she was not interested.
Of course she was the first at the door when it was time to go out and just will not be left behind. When it is pouring with rain it is not easy to have to wait for a dog who is rooted to the spot and will not move. Purely because she does not have enough oxygen to be able to do it. I think it is only her determination and zest for life that is keeping her going.
There was only me out today , none of our friends joined us and I cant blame them in this dreadful weather.
Fudge was able to go off his lead as there were no bikes around this afternoon and he took full advantage of this and he was gone trying to sniff out the rabbits with of course no success.

Hopefully the rain will clear this evening and I will be able to creep out the door with the other 2 dogs to give them a longer walk.

Day 249 of Ania's Diary

We had a brilliant night. I woke three times and there was silence, no noisy breathing.
Ania awoke and realised what day it was. She constantly barked until we got to the car which did upset her breathing badly.
Once again it poured with rain so we sheltered for 20 minutes and then had a very blustery, bitterly cold walk. Very enjoyable though with good company. Ania walked all the way, gasping of course but would not stop for a drink.
We had a stop at the local cafe for coffee and a rest and then we came home where Ania slept quite peacefully.
There is no way that Ania is ready to die yet. Her mind is alert and she misses nothing. It is just her body that is letting her down. We are hoping this intense acupuncture session will see a great improvement in her and we will have a few more weeks yet.
The forecast is not set to improve for the next few days so no sign of any hot weather which may not be good for us but will be good for her.
I hesitate to take any photos of Ania with her ears shaved off but a few people have said how nice she looks so in a day or so I will do so.

Day 248 of Ania's Diary

We have just come back from the vets once again and Ania has had her acupuncture and it went well. It is now a waiting game and we will see how she goes over the next few days.

Although Ania's body is not responding her mind is so alert and she wants to go out, see her friends and in all of this her tail is still wagging. We are not ready to leave her go and even this afternoon the vet had to agree that her mind is still alert.
Now her eyes run a lot but this is all part of this horrible disease.
We have to try and remain positive. Ania picks up on our moods and if we are sad then so is she.
Tomorrow will be the testing time when we go on our dog walk. Last week  she barely made it down the road so it will be good to see. If only she would stay behind but she has no intention of doing that.
The other dogs will not settle without Ania either and they are now fast asleep , one either side of me.
It is pouring with rain and is like winter out there so the heating will go on very soon.

Day 247 of Ania's Diary

Am not feeling like writing much today. We have just come back from the vets and Ania is a lot worse. Tomorrow she will have an intense acupuncture session and if this does not get her back to where we were before it will be the last and we have to take the decision to part with her. She still loves life and had the very busy surgery tonight all making a fuss of her. Attention she loves and does not stop wagging her tail. The thought of parting with her breaks my heart and my husband refuses to believe that we will lose her very soon. Not a good day for us.

Day 246 of Ania's Diary

Last evening was a nightmare. After I work the acupressure on Ania she usually settles down and sleeps. Not last night. She did not what to do or where to go. One minute she was up the stairs and the next she was down. Also through the night she went from the landing to her basket and just would not settle. I have no idea what was wrong with her as it was very cold . Today she seems to be a lot better.
We have only had two walks as it has been torrential rain. It is more like winter than summer.
When we went to the field this afternoon there were rabbits running around oblivious of us so I had to shout at them to move or Fudge would have taken delight in catching them. Luckily when I shouted he ran off in the wrong direction so missed them.
This weather is a lot better for Ania although she has started coughing and choking this afternoon.
Tomorrow evening we go to the vets so will see what he says.

Day 245 of Ania's Diary

After the rain of this morning by the time I took the dogs to the field the sun had come out. I was not prepared for this and Ania was in great distress. We had a very short walk and then returned home. Her breathing was very laboured but she seems to have recovered.
Thursday evening we will have the last appointment of the day at the vets and before having any more acupuncture we will decide if it is viable to go on or leave it to see how Ania will be without it.
This morning a friend arrived who we had not see for a long time and Ania was so thrilled to see her, she loves company and we do not have many visitors . Ania is a very sociable dog and loves the world.
 Fudge on the other hand can well do without it as long as I am there. If I go out without him he will cry and is a big baby.

I tried to take a photo of the beautiful nuthatch in the tree but it has not come out as I could not get close enough.

Day 244 of Ania's Diary

Winter has returned!. It is freezing cold here , such a contrast of the last few days. There is one good thing in all of this, Ania is so much better.
We have just returned from going around the field twice where we mat an old friend with her dog. Ania got so excited that she ran and ran around in circles. I could not believe it and fully expected her to collapse at any moment. No we are safely in and she is asleep in the chair.
It just show that any hot weather is going to be of no advantage to Ania at all.
The rest of the week it is supposed to rain so now I think we will delay phoning the vet and see how Ania goes.
We will be broken hearted when we have to part with her. Never have I known such a dog with not one nasty bone in her body.In the past she has been attacked by two Great Danes but still she would not retaliate.

This is the bag that I have recently made for myself.

Day 243 of Ania's Diary

In contrast of yesterday we had are having a much cooler, fresher day. It is a mixture of cloud and sun with an easterly breeze.
It was so hot overnight that I had to put the humidifier on for Ania and I will do so again tonight.
She is much brighter today although has started a lot of coughing this afternoon.
This morning we walked around the field twice which was good and this afternoon I drove to the woods and it took an hour to go through 2 fields and back. It was very cool and she gasped all the way and is now exhausted but I think she enjoyed it.
I have to keep Fudge on a lead as many bikes come through as a short cut and he would chase them. I was lucky to get back to the car just as his lead broke.
Yesterday Ania was so restless but today has slept peacefully although her breathing has been far from good. Today I am a little bit more optimistic than I was yesterday.

Day 242 of Ania's Diary

Today is a bad one, a heartbreaking one. We were delayed on our walk this morning by thunderstorms which lasted from 4.30am to just after 9am. Abby was terrified and did not know where to go to get away from it. She hid down our bed a one time.
After a lot of phoning around we decided to start our dog walk late when it had cleared a bit.
So off we set. Too my dismay we had parked the car and walked to the bottom of the road and on crossing the road Ania would walk no further. Thank goodness there were no cars coming as it is very busy near the sea front. We managed to get to the cafe and she had a rest but to get her back to the car was a nightmare and you can not carry a 42lb dog very easily.
Anyway she has rested but is so miserable as she just cannot walk and do what she wants too. Just as we were making progress down she has gone hill.
Next week my vet comes back so we will take her down and have a good talk to him. Her breathing is not that bad and her choking is better so what has gone wrong today I do not know.
Life has become very hard and we can only take one day at a time and make  no plans.
My friends have rung to see when we are going to the caravan but we will just have to see how things go.
The other 2 dogs are being so patient and they know that Ania is poorly. Fudge tries to lie beside her but she does not want it.

Day 241 of Ania's Diary

It has been much warmer today and Ania has had to have her cool coat on. She is managing the morning walk very well but as the day goes on she gets slower.
This afternoon was very slow and I stopped in the shade to talk to an old friend and she lay down and had a good rest. She is exhausted but her breathing is quite good and at the moment she is lying in the chair and sleeping very peacefully.
Tomorrow is our dog walking group and I am quite worried but Ania just will not be left behind and gets so excited to see her friends . It would just be too cruel too leave her behind as she gets so depressed. She has even managed to do a bit of barking today which does not help her breathing one little bit.
We were forecast heavy rain and thunderstorms today but later this afternoon the sun came out and it is now hot although we can never get away from this easterly wind. Wonderful to dry the washing though.

Everyone borrows my fabric doggy poo bag to put their little plastic bags in and I am then left to dispose of it so it is time for them to have one of their own. They are going to make ideal presents for our doggy loving friends.

Day 240 of Ania's Diary

Although it has been sunny today we are never free from this easterly wind which keeps it quite cool.
This helps Ania a great deal and at this moment she is lying out on the cool patio.
Today we have only had short walks , the excitement of going out in the car is just too much for her.
Her eating is good and her breathing has not been too bad, noisy but not over the top.
We went to the field this morning and met an old friend who asked me what on earth I had done to her ears. This was so upsetting as I was so reluctant to chop the furs off her once beautiful ears, they were her crowning glory.
Fudge and Abby have been very good as well and are very patient and will crawl across the field with Ania, Abby does not really like it without her.
I am hoping now that Ania will continue to be a little better for a while. It is so tiring having to face all these crisis'.

Day 239 of Ania's Diary

Today it has been dull, dreary and quite chilly. This is an ideal day for Ania.
I do not have to say a thing and Ania knows everything. We had planned to go back to the allotment where she had not been this year. Someone was letting us have a tiny piece of their ground to put a few vegetables in.
Of course Ania got excited and would not stop barking which is the worse thing that she can do. By the time we drove there she was already exhausted.
I had planned to take the dogs part way along the roads and past our beautiful Swanpool. Ania only got a few yards and I had to bring her back where she lay down. A very nice lady offered to look after her and another man offered to drive us home, not realising I had the car around the corner. There are a few kind people left in this world. Anyway I rang my husband who was on the allotment and he looked after her .  I then walked the other 2 and we had a lovely walk.

When we got home Ania was exhausted but she is still eating well which will get her strength up a little.

Day 238 of Ania's Diary

Ania is eating well. Today we have had the sunshine always the cold northerly wind which keeps it cool. This is so much better for Ania and with her cool coat on she has managed extremely well.
The house is positively cold which also helps her.

I have finally shorn all of Ania's ears off. Owing to the fact that there is no great heat because of the wind I have not shaved her coat off completely. This I will wait for as I do not want her to get pneumonia.
 Here in Cornwall we do not get the extreme heat of further up the country.
No  longer can I spend the hours grooming Ania, it now distresses her and her breathing becomes bad. With her coat a lot shorter we should manage a lot better. It was too traumatic to put Ania in the bath so she had loads of wet wipes to freshen her up. She was not dirty as I had only bathed her a couple of weeks ago.
This afternoon I put the umbrella up in the garden for Ania to lie in the shade although it was too cold for me too sit out as the wind was cutting in.
Fudge decided to hide along with Abby fearing that they both would have to have a clip and I think they were both relieved when the grooming equipment got put away.

Day 237 of Ania's Diary

It has been a chilly northerly wind along with the sun today so it has kept it cooler.
Ania has improved a lot today and she managed her walk this morning and came home and eat all her breakfast. Again this afternoon we went to the field below and she managed to walk all around the field and come home and after a rest eat all her tea. It has been a very worrying 48 hours and I really thought that the end was very near. We seem to have more bad days than good so I must not speak too soon.
The rest of the week is supposed to be a lot hotter so tomorrow if Ania is well enough I will shave  a lot of her coat and her ears off. I am so reluctant to do this but I know I must. Already I have halved the size of them , she was so beautiful at one time. I have to realise that we have a very sick dog who just cant be pulled around and she no longer wants to be brushed . It will make things a lot easier for all of us. What does it matter as long as she is still with us?

Day 236 of Ania's Diary

Today has been heartbreaking. Ania eat no more than a sausage and would not touch even the food I had prepared over night in the slow cooker.
This morning I did not realise how hot it was after the cool of yesterday and Ania had great difficulty in getting home from the field.
So  this afternoon I put on Ania's cool coat and we drove to the fields. Only 5 minutes in the car and she was gasping but still wanted to go. Halfway through the second field and gasping all the way we had to stop for a drink. By the time we got to the third field she had had enough and turned around and in the space of 30 minutes we were home. We are lucky in on way as we have no sun in our front room and with the windows wide open it is nice and cool.
Later on tonight I will take the other 2 dogs out for a road walk.
I have just fed the dogs and Ania was so hungry that at long last she has eaten it all  be it very slowly and has not even choked in the process. Now I hope she will sleep for the evening.
Time is running out for us and every minute is precious. In all her 10 years Ania has never been away from us.

Day 235 of Ania's Diary

 Ania is not well. I cant believe it, she will not eat a thing. I have even cooked her favourite sausages and scrambled eggs and cheese but nothing will tempt her.
This morning was our walk with the vets walking group and she was determined to go. It was much colder and this week was a short one. She was thrilled to see her friends but after that it was an effort.
I weighed her this morning and she has lost some more weight, something she cannot afford to do and she will get weaker. I am hoping she will eat this evening. Not even a biscuit will pass her lips and very little water even after the walk.

It is a lot cooler today and dull and very windy so it is not the heat that is doing this. We seem to go one step forward and six back. Usually the acupuncture will stimulate her appetite but this time it is the reverse. I am just hoping that my own vet will be back very soon. No other vet can do anything for her and there is no medication that can even help.